Here Comes the Sun ...

Alright, where to begin?  A lot has happened since my last post.

First, my Easter visit went well.  It was bittersweet with what my family is going through.  So much change, and so little of it seems for the better.  I've come to think that an extreme resistance to change is a sign of emotional immaturity.  So, this seems to be a time of growth.  The more I learn of myself, the more I see it in others.  So many have a scared, vulnerable core that is protected by dissociation, anger, passiveness, etc.  I realized something rather profound on this visit.  The person I fear so much, has been like a god to me.  All-powerful, all-knowing, all-perfect, and so I tremble with fear.  Seeing him in a sickly and aged state has proven to me that he is just a man.  A man that's done the best he can.  I am feeling more compassion and mercy, with less fear. 

As I have seen what a lack of love can do to a person, I have become more eager to show love to others.  I was never really shown affection until more recently, so it's kind of a shot in the dark.  I feel awkward and afraid of rejection, yet still feel this need to show others their value and lovability.

Not long ago, I started listening to some Beatles songs.  I have not heard much of their stuff before.  One that really sticks out is Here Comes the Sun.  It fits so nicely with spring, but also has become a mantra of sorts for me.  I always try to listen to this song when I'm down or sing some of the lyrics to bring myself up. 

Lyrics below:

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,
and I say it's all right

Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
and I say it's all right

Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
and I say it's all right

Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...

Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,
and I say it's all right
It's all right 

Anyway, I just wanted to share as it helps me nicely.  I've learned that my sense of hearing and my sense of smell seem to be my strongest senses for stress relief.  Visual is up there too.  I really need to do some aromatherapy.

We've been in the high 60s and low 70s around here.  The river is down quite a bit.  I've been doing some evening grilling and cleaning up the yard for summer.  So many branches and such get knocked down.  My roomie bought a huge pack of butterfly/hummingbird flower seed for a buck.  So, we better get that out.  The day lilies, peonies, and lilies of the valley are coming up nicely.  The lilacs and crab apple trees have started to bud.  So many tulips and crocuses and such are blooming around town.  Oh, it's lovely.  I'll have to share pics soon.

Well, with that, I shall go for now.  I hope everyone is having a wonderful spring!  *hugs*  <3